The vicious cycle of comparison


Today, I’d like to share with you a question I explored in my latest Q&A podcast (in French):

How can we break the vicious cycle of comparison? I noticed recently that, even in my work, I can still get caught comparing my career progress to that of others, and of course, I tend to feel like I’m falling short. I know it’s not constructive, but this past week I found myself getting caught up in it.

I think it’s a trap we all fall into regularly, whether in our professional or personal lives. Comparison is a natural reflex, but it can easily draw us into a vicious cycle, and fuel all kinds of negative thoughts along the way.

Here are some thoughts I’d like to share on this topic.

Comparison as a limitation, a feeling of lack

We can see other people’s success as a limited resource. As if what they’ve accomplished is now somehow out of our reach. Or that their success is due to external factors (luck, family support, or natural talent) that we don't have.

This mindset only succeeds in making us feel bitter and disempowered. I believe it’s best not to stay stuck in this perspective for too long.

Comparison as inspiration, a vision of abundance

Alternatively, we can see others' achievements as proof that we, too, can succeed.

Maybe all that’s missing is the right method or a path that matches our own pace. We can then look to others for examples, for ideas, for guidance… By taking inspiration from their success, we can find motivation and tools to advance along our own unique path.

By the way…

Sometimes it’s also essential to ask ourselves a fundamental question: Do we really want what others have accomplished (and everything that comes with it)?

Does it align with our values, our needs, and the life we want to lead?

For instance, I sometimes feel a sense of envy toward Emma Storey-Gordon, a coach I follow on Instagram who has achieved great success. But I also know she works constantly and travels a lot. I, on the other hand, love my free time, my home, and my slower-paced lifestyle. Sure, I'd like to have her income and influence, but I wouldn’t want the life that comes with it.

Each journey is unique, and it’s essential to define what aligns with your own aspirations.

The Most Important Comparison: With Ourselves

Ultimately, the only truly constructive comparison is the one we make with ourselves.

Looking back at our own path, we can ask ourselves: “If I compare myself to who I was five years ago, have I grown and gained wisdom? Have I progressed in a career that feels right for me? Am I living more in line with my values? Am I more fulfilled?”

And if we aren’t satisfied with our answers to these questions, let's use them as motivation to adjust our course!

It’s this inner comparison that allows us to see our growth and to stay in a positive mindset.

I hope this reflection helps you reframe your perception of comparison and move forward with more serenity, without unnecessary pressure but with kindness toward yourself and your unique journey.

Take care.

Om, peace 🧡

Clem

Clémence Dieryck

I'm a bilingual yoga teacher who helps people who sit a lot gain mobility, move without pain and reduce their stress.

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